The Always-Welcome Home: How to Master Drop-In Visits
Inside: How to make your home welcoming enough that people stop by just to see your smiling face. A comfortable chair and your attention mean more than matching throw pillows ever will.
Remember when people used to just… stop by? A neighbor would bring extra tomatoes. A friend would visit for coffee after school drop off.
But nowadays, if a neighbor stopped over just to chat, half of us would think they were crazy and wonder why someone is at their door before they even have any makeup on.
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But we’ve definitely lost something here. Casual interaction makes the world go round.
I’m challenging you to encourage and ask people to drop by unannounced, which means your home has to be ready (the horror) for guests at any time.
But you can do this. Because a home that’s ready for drop-in guests isn’t about having everything perfect. It’s about creating a space where real life happens and people feel comfortable pulling up a chair. It’s finding that sweet spot between lived-in warmth and simple order that makes everyone (including you!) feel at peace.
What makes the difference between a house that people hesitate to visit and one where friends know they can always stop by? Let’s discuss.
Have a tea kettle that you really use
Nothing says ‘stay awhile’ like a hot drink appearing within minutes. Keep your kettle on the stove (it’s cute!), and have a few tea bags ready. I find it best to say “hey, I’m making a cup of tea, you’ll have one, right?”, instead of the formal “can I offer you something to drink?”.
What Not To Do
The quickest way to make someone feel unwelcome is to apologize for your home. No “sorry about the mess” or “please excuse our toy explosion.” Just say “come in!” and mean it.
Create conversation spots
You know those homes where you’re not sure where you’re allowed to sit? Let’s not do that. Keep your kitchen table cleared off. An empty chair pulled up to the table sends the message “come sit here!” without you saying a word. And let’s be honest – the kitchen is where everyone ends up anyway, so make it a place where people can lean on the counter or pull up a seat without feeling like they’re in the way
Have a few simple pantry snacks on hand
Those gorgeous charcuterie boards on Instagram? Not happening for drop-in visits. Or, you know… ever. Instead, I keep a tin of my grandmother’s butter cookies in the freezer (they thaw in minutes), and there’s always a jar of salted nuts in the pantry. Simple, but thoughtful.
Make your children helpful
Mine know that when someone stops by, we pause whatever we’re doing. They help grab drinks or clear the table, and they’re learning that people matter more than tasks.
Keep your front porch inviting
A swept porch and a chair or two sends a subtle message: people are welcome here. In summer, I keep a pitcher of water and glasses on a tiny table for delivery folks or neighbors passing by.
Know your ‘cozy spots’
Every home has natural gathering places. For us, it’s the kitchen table in winter and the front steps in summer. Notice where people naturally drift in your home and keep those spots ready without fussing over the rest.
Have a few conversation starters handy
Keep something interesting on your coffee table – maybe the family photo album, a book of local history, or whatever hobby project you’re working on. It gives nervous visitors something to focus on and naturally starts conversations. Then when people leave they feel like you were welcoming and everything was comfortable, not that they were awkward.
Tip: Background Noise
Keep a radio in the kitchen tuned to something gentle, or have a playlist ready. A little background music fills awkward silences and makes both kids and adults feel more relaxed.
Consider your lighting
This seems small but makes a huge difference. I keep our curtains open during the day and have a lamp or two ready to click on in darker corners. Good lighting makes people feel instantly more comfortable.
The ‘dressed enough’ daily habit
Hair combed, face washed, real clothes on. Nothing fancy. But it can’t be what you slept in. It’s just being clean and presentable. It’s not about looking perfect, but about being ready to open the door without hiding behind it. BONUS: this habit makes ME feel better, whether anyone stops by or not.
Having people stop by your house whenever is one of those small things that can change the world. I mean that. And while I challenge you to welcome drop in guests, I also want to challenge you to do one (harder!) thing. Be a drop-in guest. Load up those tomatoes and start walking. And be nice. Your neighbor might not be dressed yet.
Love,
Great reminder. When my kids were little in the 90s we were the drop in house, in the country and we always had food ready. We would saddle up our horses, ride 4 wheelers or swim in our big pooI. Loved those days. Be that house 💕
amen karen ❤️
This is a great reminder! I remember this growing up too. This is exactly how I want my home to feel. Love your articles. Thank you!
hi Nancy! thanks for the nice note! 🙂 we are fighting the good fight, bringing it back.
I enjoyed this article! My mom always used to say an important thing for being ready for guests was emptying the bathroom trash frequently and keeping an extra roll of toilet paper available. Her other tip was to put out food as a rule – guests will often decline if you ask them, not wanting to be a bother, but will almost always eat something if it’s just out. So even if my house is messy (and I will work on remembering not to apologize for it!), if I have an empty trashcan in the bathroom and something to eat on the kitchen table, that goes a long way. And on the flip side, I have been trying to remember to accept a drink or snack when I’m visiting, because it does feel better for the host ultimately to be able to offer something than to skip the trouble of it.
yes GREAT point about accepting when you are the guest. and thank you for sharing your moms thoughts. so helpful for all of us reading! 🙂
I love the background music idea and do this all the time. I use the Pandora stations Instrumental Christian and instrumental Christmas.
hi Lisa! thank you I need to try pandora again 🙂
I love this and have been trying to figure out how to have a more inviting home. Do you have the butter cookie recipe available?
hi yes I cna post in the next few weeks.
can you give us the recipe for the butter cookies
yes I will post it soon 🙂
I stumbled across this article not 30 minutes after my neighbor left, having stopped by unexpectedly this evening. I keep my kettle on the stove, so I made a pot of tea and cut up an apple I’d just brought home from the store. It wasn’t much, but she ended up sharing things she hadn’t before, and we both felt so good because of it! My house is often messy, but people have commented that it feels cozy and welcoming anyway, and I’m grateful that the act of welcoming people overrides the mess we might feel self-conscious of! Thank you for this post, and thank you for the encouragement to go drop in on friends and neighbors! I adore it when people stop by my house, and you’re right, it is harder to do the dropping in. So I shall practice! Thank you again for this.
I love this SO very much, you are changing the world and I mean that 🙂
sooo good! thank you! ❤️
Hey Katie, thank you so much for your kind words, I’m really happy you enjoyed it and appreciate you taking the time to comment!
Great ideas and thoughts on a dying part of social life and interpersonal interaction Since 2020 it seems that everyone is so isolated and visits are a thing of the past and take real effort no one wants to expend. This is very sad, really, as we need social interaction for mental and physical health. Did you know that when we simply hug or touch one another we actually exchange electrons and give each other the electrons we may need? Pretty awesome! This helps keep us healthy and is why we must have social encounters.
Our biggest hurdle with having unannounced guests are our dogs. If I know someone is coming over, I can let them know the door is unlocked and to enter without knocking or ringing the doorbell, as if they belong here, so my dogs don’t go ballistic. When we have unexpected guests, it can be quite chaotic. Not the best environment to be able to focus on guests.
Our tea kettle is always out, so I shall endeavor to use it should anyone stop by. Not apologizing for the state of one’s house is also so true! Our homes are lived in, unless we have a life of absolute luxury, with someone to follow us around and clean up after us as we go. This is not a bad thing and leads to the coziness and warmth people notice when they enter our living space. We are always complimented by guests that our house is warm and cozy. The art of “hygge”, or the Scandinavian lifestyle of all things cozy and relaxing, is huge for us. If you are unfamiliar with this concept, I highly suggest you look into it. I will bet, that, like us, you are already really very good at it! 😉
Now to work on making sure folks know they are welcome to pop in, and keeping the dogs calm when they do.
Thank you for the great post!
hey charlisa, my dog is the exact same way and this is a great point. i will think about all this too.
I love the watercolors pictures. Did you paint them?
Hey Piera, thank you so much! I’m so glad you love the watercolor pictures. My daughter actually creates them using an AI program! She’s only 11, and she says it’s really easy to do. I just tell her what I’m looking for, and she makes it happen. Thanks for stopping by!
Reading these posts reminds me of learning from my mother. I reread to remind myself of how to do it right. Thank you. 🙂
Hey Sarah, that is such a sweet compliment. Thank you! It makes me so happy to know these posts bring back good memories. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to share that.
I LOVE this! We are moving to Portugal this summer, and I want our new life to reflect this attitude!
Thank you!
Hey Amyd, I’m so happy you liked the post. Having a warm and welcoming home is a wonderful idea, and I’m sure your guests will feel very special. Wishing you the best with your move and new adventure. Thanks so much for your kind words!
This is a truly wonderful resource for us new homemakers – thank you! These little nuances are something typically glossed over when these topics get their own posts. And these are actually attainable! Thanks again❤️
Hey Carly, thank you so much! That really means a lot. I know how overwhelming homemaking can feel at times, so I’m so glad you found this helpful (and attainable!). Wishing you all the best on your homemaking journey!
Thanks for taking time to share your wisdom! I am trying to be comfortable with people stopping by anytime and it’s hard! I want everything to be tidy and planned out…but this was a great reminder to keep things more simple and value the relationship above tasks.
Hey Leanne, I completely understand, it can be so hard to let go of wanting everything to be perfect! I’m really glad this was a helpful reminder, relationships truly are more important than a perfectly tidy home.
Thank you for your sweet, encouraging words. These ideas sound ‘doable’ 😀
🙂 thanks lorna!
I love this. Thank you for sharing this simple but so valuable list. 💕
thank you mrs bw for the kind words!