Inside: A look at why we shop when our homes our already crammed with stuff, and more importantly, how to stop.
At first, every item you buy is amazing. How did you live without it? Your friends hear all about it and you even watch videos of how to use it. It’s just what you needed. And then over time, it just becomes background. You have some new pressing need. It’s time to research a new widget.
So bit by bit, your house is overtaken with clutter. You don’t seem to have any extra money. You are throwing out bags of things that um, no longer spark joy.
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But…Why?
Right. It’s a great question. We can blame a lot of. things: advertising, comparison, greed. Most of it, I think, comes down to simple boredom, which is why being busy is at the heart of frugality.
There are a lot of people who over-buy and never have to confront it because they have the money to just keep on going. And that’s okay.
And honestly, over-examining the why is not terribly useful. Let’s move onto simple ways to just…stop.
1. Interlibrary Loan
Going to the library and picking something out on the shelf is not the same. Something about requesting a hold is very exciting. You go through all the motions of putting it in the cart and getting the email that it is ready to be picked up. It’s delightful, and feels like something you should be paying a lot of money for, yet it is free.
2. Rotating Belongings
This is old advice for children’s toys, but it really works on adults. Isn’t it amazing how when you decorate for christmas, the house feels new? Even if you don’t have new decorations? Well, it works for other seasons too. Things like pillow covers, throw blankets, kitchen towels, mugs, and other practical items can be switched out at the start of each season. Make sure you are packing up stuff that you actually like. Otherwise you are just putting a bunch of junk in the basement. If your seasonal boxes are filled with things that are still your favorites, opening the box in the spring feels like going shopping.
3. A Productive Hobby
This can be a slippery slop and lead to buying a lot of hobby related clutter. But if you are careful, it can give you the feeling of buying something without buying it. Gardening, baking, and sewing, will provide you with new items at the end, as well as occupying your time.
4. Try a No Spend Month or Week
The worst. But! There is something about the first week or so of it that is novel and exciting. It quickly wears off. But it resets expectations for a while, and even the grocery shopping feels indulgent after it ends.
5. Delay!
Sometimes none of these tricks work, and you just really, really want something. Instead of getting it right away, just wait. Buying it resets the countdown to wanting the next thing. Instead tell yourself, yes, you can have it. And then wait a while. Maybe tell someone you want it for your birthday, so you have to wait to see if it appears.
Good Luck
Here’s what I know after years of buying things I thought would make my life better: most of the time, they didn’t. The excitement fades, the clutter builds up, and you’re back where you started – except now you have less money and more stuff to manage.
The tricks above work because they give you that same little dopamine hit without the buyer’s remorse later. Your life doesn’t need more things to be fulfilling. Really. Really.
Love,
When shopping online mostly Amazon, I will save it for later in my app , if I still want/ need it in a few days then I will buy it. Most of the time, I delete the items.
This is such a great blog. I recently got remarried a few months ago and I’m very fortunate that I can stay home and be a home maker. I absolutely love it! I was raised if you don’t take care of what you have, you will have nothing at all. So I love taking care of our home and family.
My worst spending habit is groceries. We live in the country and I’m always buying extra just Incase. Trying to break this habit and meal plan.
The library is a wonderful thing. I was a single mother for a long time and I canceled my cable tv. I friend mentioned you know you can borrow movies from the library for FREE. What?!? I was so thrilled. I don’t watch much tv but was happy to enjoy a free movie occasionally.
I also change decor out for the seasons. It freshens things up without buying new. Thanks for your blog, I really enjoy it!
thank you Lori and I totally get what you are saying about stocking up too much and losing track. one thing that helps me is doing a no-spend month to sort of get my stocks back to manageable level!
Great advice and thank you!
What I dislike about buying online is unless one has a very good idea of the size of the item purchased and quality one cannot always assess every conceivable size or have assurance even if I could pick out the dimension. Example if I ordered a T-Shirt or even shoe sizes on eBay or Amazon XYZ site XL extra large and it arrives and it is something my 7 years old get into This is true of well known stores items that were ordered not according to descriptions as I received newly described items which came with scratches on box of Lego’s at $525 and items dangling about which seemed refurbished and clearly having been opened with scotch tape all around to close.
This is why I do not like also shipping costs add up fast. One does not have the added time of stress to take it to the store for free exchange. I bet once they have us shopping online without seeing merchandise to purchase the prices will get jacked up. Even vegetables are not always the best for food deliveries. The old fashion way is better since one is left at the disposal of the company shipping. I absolutely agree we lose our footings on solid ground when doing online shopping even when one is trying to be cautious after having to wait on delays and whatever time the parcel does not arrive lost etc. or due to customs also charges and delays for months.
totally agree with everything you’re saying. I wonder if sometimes retailers send out things they know are wrong, just hoping that people will think its too much of a pain to return
our library has a Library of Things. If I need an item for a short time or to see if I would really need one of my own, I can get one for free, usually within 24 hours. I have “checked out” a walker when husband was recovering from surgery, a sewing machine when mine was out for repair, some gardening tools for Spring planting. The list is amazing!
Love, Love, Love my Library!
Sometimes I go in just to browse magazines…it feels so great to have free time to do that…
We used to go to bookstores and spend too much… we haven’t done that for several years.
In fact, we have taken to visiting libraries everywhere we travel.
The best yet was The Long Room, The Old Library, Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland. The architecture is incredible… I was in awe of the place.
I really like the things you have shared… so real to our lives…thanks for sharing .
Love, Love, Love my Library!
Sometimes I go in just to browse magazines…it feels so great to have free time to do that…
We used to go to bookstores and spend too much… we haven’t done that for several years.
In fact, we have taken to visiting libraries everywhere we travel.
The best yet was The Long Room, The Old Library, Trinity College, Dublin, Ireland. The architecture is incredible… I was in awe of the place.
I really like the things you have shared… so real to our lives…thanks for sharing .
Wow I would love to see that library in person, just looked up some pictures of it! Thanks for the kind comment!
The library is key! I have easily close to two thousand dollars since getting my library card in 2016. Also, productive hobbies make all the difference, but you’re right, it’s easy to get caught up in them if you let yourself!
I really like the idea of rotating belongings.
Thank you Lucy! I am so excited to take out my blue and white pillow covers in January and feel like I have all new stuff.
Your tips are really good, and they all work for me, too; especially delaying what I purchase. I worked in a university library (interlibrary loan and cataloging) before my older son came along. I’m always amazed at how many people don’t realize this service exists. I’m looking forward to taking a look around your blog!
Thank you for the nice words! ????
I know every time I walk out of the library I truly can’t believe it was free!