Wealth Beyond Money: The Blueprint for a Truly Rich Life

Inside: learn how to be truly wealthy without money. It’s not about fake designer handbags. It’s about re-examining, um….everything.

Money is just the middleman. Yes, it buys sunny vacations spent in a lounge chair with a tropical drink, envious stares when you park your new car, and a housekeeper who can make your bathrooms spotless.

But what if we drilled down to the things that we actually want… the things that we are hoping money will buy us, and went straight to them? Do you really want a housekeeper, or do you just want a clean house? Do you really want a tropical vacation, or just time to relax in the sun?

Can you pull out the heart of each of these wishes and find a way to get them for free? Probably. It’s not quite about being happy with what you have…more about getting your heart’s desire.

You’ve probably heard this story, but it says it all:

A businessman is on vacation in a small coastal village when he notices a fisherman returning early in the afternoon with a small catch of fish. The businessman asks the fisherman why he returned so early, and the fisherman explains that he has caught enough fish for the day to feed his family and enjoy life with his friends and loved ones.
The businessman then suggests that the fisherman could spend more time fishing to catch more fish, sell the surplus, save up money, and eventually buy more boats to expand his business. He explains that after many years, the fisherman could have a fleet of fishing boats and a huge business, allowing him to make a lot of money. It would take him years to build his fishing empire, but he could do it.
The fisherman then asks, “And after that?”
The businessman says “well, you could retire, move to a small coastal village, fish a little, relax, and enjoy life with your family and friends.”

-Traditional Story

Here’s how to find your very own coastal village:

1. Figure Out Your Core Wants (Big and Small)

It’s easy to browse Amazon and see things you want. It’s hard to look at your life and figure out what you really want. To uncover these truths about yourself, try a few different reflective exercises:

• What do you want? Don’t go deep right away if that feels too hard. Go shallow. A private library? A trip to Egypt? A personal organizer? Don’t write what you think you should want. Write the truth.
• What do you hate? Cooking? Feeling too busy? Waking up early? Doing the same thing day after day after day?
• To start the thought process:
  • If nothing were impossible, how would you spend the next 5 years?
  • What activities make you lose track of time?
  • Write down moments when you felt genuinely fulfilled and happy. What caused that feeling?

An example “wants list”:

Examples are helpful, so I’ll share what I’ve come up with during this exercise.

• a lot of sun and fresh air in my house
• flowers
• daily schedule that is the same on most days
• a lot of alone time
• big vegetable garden
• swimming
• being at home almost always
• unlimited books
• no time around people I feel in competition with
• very clean house
• no panicked feeling of having too much to do
• fun/ fancy cocktails and appetizers with friends on weekends

Here is another set of core wants, which at first might seem very difficult to accomplish without being rich:

• life in an urban setting that buzzes with energy
• travel
• new experiences
• easy access to friends and social events
• gourmet meals

You, of course, might have totally different desires from either of these!

Drilling down to core desires:

Now we look for patterns and what lies beneath. Do any of these ring true to you, based on what’s on your wants list?

• Stability: Predictable routines, financial security, a sense of belonging.
• Adventure: Excitement, new experiences, pushing personal boundaries.
• Beauty: Surrounding yourself with aesthetically pleasing things, nature, and art.
• Connection: Deep relationships with friends, family, and community.
• Purpose: Feeling like your life has meaning and you’re making a difference.
• Challenge: Opportunities for growth, learning, and overcoming obstacles.
• Freedom: Autonomy over your time, choices, and direction in life.
• Creativity: Expressing yourself through art, music, writing, or another medium.
• Status/Recognition: Respect, admiration, and feeling successful in the eyes of others.
• Comfort: A sense of ease, both physical and emotional.

Sure they all sound great. But when you look at your list, what is reflected back to you?

My core wants are comfort, stability, and beauty. That is the meaning behind my flowers, time at home, and predictable routine. That doesn’t feel deep or important or impressive, but that’s okay. This isn’t about what you value, it’s about being honest about what you want.

Our second example is a person who wants adventure, connection, and freedom. One is not better than the other!

2. Hack Your Way to What You Want

So… how do we get all this?

Let’s start easy. Remember my list? Sunshine, flowers, and peace?

Your core wants can be achieved without being rich

Here’s one way to get all those things: Work 60 hours per week and make 300,000 per year so I can remodel my house and put in huge windows. Sign up for a flower delivery service for weekly bouquets. Hire a nanny so my children do not disturb me. Pay her extra to drive them to their activities so I don’t have to leave the house. Order books on Amazon every week. Hire a housekeeper. Go out to eat with friends every weekend.

Here’s another: Spend more time in my bedroom, which faces south. Open the windows in the mornings whenever I can. Pick wildflowers once a week. Go to the library. Stay away from people I don’t like by walking away from them, not refusing to go to a location where I might see them. Clean my own house a few minutes a day. Host Saturday night cocktails with friends.

Kind of an easy one, right? What about our friend who wants to live in a city, travel, and eat gourmet meals.? Everyone can picture the typical lifestyle that gets you this… an investment banker in a big city. But it’s not the only way.

What if you lived in a walkable part of the city and split rent with four friends? You might even have to share a bedroom. But it would be worth it to be able to walk everywhere and take public transportation everywhere else. You could work 2 part-time jobs… one in a restaurant where you make friends and connections and get to enjoy lots of food and one at a museum where you have access to cultural events. Your weekends are busy, but you have time off midweek, so you can travel for less. Since you live in such an exciting location you and your roommates occasionally swap apartments with people in other cities. Your life is an adventure. Way more so than someone who wears a suit to work every day.

More examples:

Here’s a look at different ways to achieve your own core wants.

Stability:

• Expensive: High-paying job with benefits, big house in a safe neighborhood.
• Affordable: Live within your means, build an emergency fund, cultivate strong social connections.

Adventure:

• Expensive: Luxury cruises, extreme sports expeditions, backpacking around the world.
• Affordable: Explore local parks and hidden gems, try new hobbies and activities, take weekend road trips.

Beauty:

• Expensive: Designer clothes, high-end cosmetics, professional home decorating.
• Affordable: Surround yourself with nature, visit art museums, decorate your home with DIY projects and thrifted finds, keep fresh flowers or plants in your space.

Connection:

• Expensive: Lavish dinners and outings with friends, exclusive social clubs.
• Affordable: Volunteer together, host potlucks, cookie swaps, and game nights, join local clubs or sports teams.

Purpose:

• Expensive: Donate large sums to charity, fund expensive research projects.
• Affordable: Volunteer your time or skills for a cause you care about, mentor someone, participate in community clean-up efforts.

Challenge:

• Expensive: Pay for expensive training programs, hire a personal coach for a new skill.
• Affordable: Take free online courses, join a local book club to explore challenging topics, learn a new language using free apps.

Freedom:

• Expensive: Early retirement with a hefty nest egg, owning a vacation home.
• Affordable: Negotiate flexible work arrangements, prioritize experiences over possessions, minimalism to reduce financial burdens.

Creativity:

• Expensive: Expensive art supplies, private music lessons.
• Affordable: Find free online tutorials, use public libraries for resources, explore free creative apps, gather inspiration from nature or museums.

Status/Recognition:

• Expensive: Flashy possessions, lavish displays of wealth.
• Affordable: Earn respect through your actions and work ethic, build a strong reputation through your skills and contributions.

Comfort:

• Expensive: Large, luxurious house with expensive furniture, high-tech gadgets that do everything for you.
• Affordable: Create a cozy and inviting living space, prioritize experiences over possessions, cultivate a healthy lifestyle that reduces stress

The point is to focus on what you want, not how much money you think you need to get what you want.

3. Don’t Neglect Universal Wants

The most beautiful home, the most exciting adventures…they can still leave you longing for more. There’s a part of us that craves something beyond the material. If you add in these things, you will be happier. For free.

• Physical Health: Sleep enough, eat well, get fresh air, and exercise.
• Love and Belonging: We crave connection and want to feel accepted. Invest in time with family and friends, nurture meaningful relationships, join supportive communities based on interests or shared values.
• Feeling Appreciated: We want our contributions and efforts to be recognized and valued, even in small ways. Express genuine gratitude to others, offer praise and compliments freely, and practice random acts of kindness without expecting anything in return.
• Feeling Competent and Capable: We have an innate desire to master skills and grow as individuals. Take on challenging hobbies, learn new things through free resources (libraries, online courses), celebrate your progress, no matter how small.
• Contributing to Something Larger Than Ourselves: Most of us want to feel our lives have meaning and that we’re making a positive impact. Volunteer your time for a cause you believe in, mentor others, offer simple acts of kindness to neighbors and strangers.
• Experiencing Beauty and Wonder: We’re naturally drawn to the beauty of the world and crave moments that inspire awe. Spend time in nature, admire art in a museum or local gallery, listen to moving music, and appreciate the small details of everyday life.

I know things like “volunteer work” can sound overwhelming and cliche. But it doesn’t have to be volunteer work; it can just be small and simple kindnesses you don’t tell anyone else about. No matter what your core wants are, adding things like this to your life will make you feel wealthy.

Life the Life You Want

Of course, you need money to live. But you don’t need more and more and more money to be happy, or to have what you want. Be creative and rebellious. Chase the result, not the dollar sign.